The very essence of my art means that there are LARGE chunks of time that I spend by myself at my desk with my mind wandering. There are times I cannot help from being “sucked down” some of these “roads” just because I can go over them again and again in my head.
When I first started this blog, many years ago, I thought that it was a curse of this profession; being stuck in one moment, repeatedly forced to relive some of my greatest achievements and some of my toughest failures and not being able to stop or change them. How could I have handled them differently, or even in some cases, how could I have avoided them all together? During these times I would usually have an audio book running in the background or even turn up the music I had playing. Ask Shannon about that one! One Saturday, ONE song: KT Tunstall’s “Black Horse and A Cherry Tree.” Ten hours straight! “Woo Hoo!” Poor woman.
Recently a thought has started creeping into those moments “own it.” Gains, losses, they are all mine. They are not yours, not someone else’s, they are mine. Scars, blemishes, they are reminders of times that you won and you are still here.
Also, instead of looking at those moments like a weight to drag me down, I now see them as a way of identifying and referencing a section of my life that no longer continues. A Soldier can tell with a glance at a fellow Soldier’s medals on their chest, what they have done and what they have been through with an emphasis on the battle is over, they are still here. I can’t wash off scars, I can’t change the memories but, I tell you what I can do though … I can take pride in them.
“That’s a huge scar.”
“Yeah, it was a big battle and even though it’s over, I survived and am still here.”
Don’t hide your ‘scars,’ clean them, polish them and keep them presentable for the world to see your achievements.
Those situations are dead and gone. You … are still here!
Have a great week!
