NorB: Afternoon Coffee With God

It’s Monday morning and last night I came home late as usual. I was excited for my studies this morning. I usually look forward to my time of sitting down and doodling, whether it’s on paper or this tablet, because, afterwards I feel rejuvenated. Whether it’s at work on break, on vacation, or even just sitting around at home. I look forward to this quiet time where I can just be free to put whatever I want to paper.

Yesterday was a particularly hard day at work with nothing specific, just lots of moments of running around, helping others, responding to things …stuff. So when I came home last night, I was pretty much dragging. While my body was hurting from the day’s events, my mind was racing with what I was going to be working on in the morning. Looking forward to the time of just sitting down with the tablet and the last thing I remember, as I laid my head on the pillow, was thinking that I was going to spring from the bed, most likely as Shannon was getting ready for work and start my day.

This is not the way it happened.

Oh yes, Shannon got up for work and got ready as she normally does but the “old man” didn’t have so much of a spring in his step. Feet, knees and hips don’t spring as much as they did when I was younger and it was difficult for me to wake up, so consequently I did not even open my eyes again until a little bit before noon.

When I finally did wake up, I realized how late it was, and the first thing that happened was that little voice inside my head said; “You’ve wasted your day. You were going to do all these wonderful things before noon and you slept right through it. You have ruined your chance.” I felt horrible.

I hobbled out to my chair, took my medications, and sat there realizing that the morning was gone and with it my opportunity to post, because I knew some people were going to be coming to my website and looking at what I had put up for the day. I missed my opportunity to spend some quiet time just doodling in my book, to think about what I wanted from today, and just sit down and have some coffee with God.

Then it hit me, I still do! There is no set time or place to self reflect, have quiet time and just …listen. Listen to the birds, to the cars that driving by, to my heartbeat …listen to God. Anything that gets in your way and tells you that you have missed that opportunity is lying to you! There is still time. There is still a chance. There is still hope!

I realized that the voice that had been talking to me this morning was that of a self-imposed deadline that I created and nothing else. I had created my own guilt! Also, when my inner voice was beating me over the head with guilt, what it failed to mention was that things are not as immovable as it made them sound! 

I set myself up for this guilt, I put myself in this position and now I am going to release myself from it too. “Sketch, it’s ok. Go enjoy your afternoon coffee with your sketch book and God, enjoy it and take your time.”

I already fell better.

May you enjoy your coffee today.